Here we go again with the forgiveness…

It’s going to be awkward at many Thanksgiving tables this year. There have always been those relatives that you know are conservative and more than likely just being polite in your presence. It often becomes the job of the gay guy or girl to make sure that everyone is comfortable with his or her “lifestyle”. Don’t even get me started on that term… There is acceptance and then there is tolerance.  In the world we all just want to be tolerated. I do me and you do you, very simple right? But in our family life or tribe what we really want is acceptance. We want to be understood and appreciated for our uniqueness.

                Once the toothpaste is out of tube and you’ve announced to world that you’re different in some way, you hope that the people you love will still love you. In some cases they do and everyone lives happily ever after. But in most cases there is still a family member or two that thinks you’re going straight to hell with the rest of your pervert friends. They still send you a holiday card and smile and hug you when they see you, but you know. You can feel the condescending energy when they ask how your “friend” is.

                So here we go again with the forgiveness… Now you get to sit and smile and nod while eating and drinking more than you should. All the while being polite and telling yourself “they love me, they’re just stupid”. It takes an amazing amount of forgiveness to be gay. You can always count on someone to need help dealing with your “lifestyle”. You’ll choose your words and topics of conversation carefully as not to bring up anything that will create an awkward moment. We’re a helpful breed, us gays. I think this year is going to be extra challenging for many gay people as they sit down to Thanksgiving with their family. Because Trump was so intense and irresponsible with his message it’s hard not to judge those that voted for him. How will the next three Thanksgivings go as each year we watch progress being destroyed? Will we smile and be thankful with people who voted for this talking Cheeto?            

                I think we need to talk about it. In my opinion the best argument to make is that you’re hurt. Debating the issues and defending one candidate or another isn’t going to accomplish anything. The real message needs to be that you feel betrayed. Maybe we need to consider not being so polite all the time. I see nothing wrong with expressing hurt and disappointment in a family member who voted for Donald Trump. Let them own it and make them look you in the eye and explain themselves because it warrants an explanation.  Then forgive them. But whatever you do, don’t let them off the hook without telling them how their vote made you feel. Tell them they are wrong…